She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk is a universal language darling
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