There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
