Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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