Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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