Where is the hickey?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
