this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
