Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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