Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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