Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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