Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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