Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
