What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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