Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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