Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yo dont text me then not text me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
