Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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