I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
