my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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