My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
