Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
