Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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