Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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