I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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