Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
