we're chasing vodka with high fives
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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