Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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