Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize