he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
