She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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