the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
