Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
