you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
