I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
