Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
