how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
