Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
