It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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