Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
