Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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