i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
