worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
