this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize