Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
