i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
