i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
