So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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