guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
