# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no you cant smoke seaweed
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
