Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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