he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
