I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This house was built for laser tag.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
