I've blown a few things in my day
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
