What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
