Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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