Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
