To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
