hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
