wanna go halves on a baby?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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