i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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