My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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