At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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