I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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